On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Be still, my beating vagina.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
