ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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