What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
