couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
