And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize