You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
