windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
