the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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