True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
