the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
