Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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