I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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