You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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