she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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