We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
