my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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