one might say we're banned from that church
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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