I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
