that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
