Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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