are you still at the devil's house?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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