Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
