So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
