I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
