if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
