Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
