Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
