The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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