Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
