In America we eat man semen.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
