I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
