im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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