Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
