walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
