Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
