You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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