do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
