Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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