my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
