i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
