I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
