Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
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