I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize