dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
