I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
