One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
