Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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