Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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