I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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