I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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