Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
