Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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