Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize