Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I look better un-naked...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
