My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
