Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
