He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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