we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
