I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
