Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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