I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
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