So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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